I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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