I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
