The maid of honor just puked.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
