WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
