This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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