Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
