...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
