My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
