I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
