I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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