ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
