The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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