I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
