So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
