Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
