I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
