He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
