don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize