So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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