I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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