i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
