Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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