I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
