she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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