Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
