I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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