After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
