I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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