I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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