just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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