we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
