pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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