Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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