I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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