It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
