Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Everclear isn't food dammit
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
