Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
