I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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