Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Just puked most of my soul out..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize