Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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