I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
and you said cock pushups were impossible
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
