I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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