I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
