operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
