this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize