sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
