Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
