I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
