Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
