question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
