so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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