he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
