Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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