thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
