Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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