i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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