God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
