did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
i now understand why vodka
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
