He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
