I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize